I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
