Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize