it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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