just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
