I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize