OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
