ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
