So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
