i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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