Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
