I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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