theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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