I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
