The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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