I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize