I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
