Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
