Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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