She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
