Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
