I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
