You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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