drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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