I love black thongs
i permit you to call me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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