Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
