Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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