i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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