I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
