This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize