My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
