Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
