I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
