I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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