Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
