What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
