yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
