her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize