I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
