That's intense
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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