dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
