I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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