normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
