I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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