My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
