So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
