It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
