Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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