i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
