wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
