I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
