well you can't waste a boner
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
