Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
pop tarts are not kleenex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
