Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
honey bunches of taint.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
