Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
