i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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