so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
