i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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