i jhust puked up my retainher.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
