just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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