Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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